Bye Bye Sludge


I’ve been stuck in a vortex of my own life problems lately. I think you have been too. And OF COURSE we have. It’s been a lot for basically every person I know for the past couple of years and, well, we are fatigued. We’ve noticed here at MommaStrong that our normal new customer count and our normal engagement in our community is down. And we know that this is a reflection of all the things we are all carrying, especially caretakers, and the general resignation that has developed after the fatigue. 


I don’t like this feeling. I know the technical term has been identified as “languishing”, but it feels like sludge. I want it to be called sludging. I am sludging. In any case, I am not a fan of it. I keep thinking I’ll wake up one morning and be like, oh there’s the ping, there’s the spark and my engine will get moving and I’ll feel like engaging in the world again in a bigger way. But it hasn’t happened yet. 




This is an important word in these moments. Even though I am super fan of catastrophizing and making permanent terrible things that happen or that I am feeling, this word “yet” reminds me that there is more ahead. It reminds me that all things in life change whether I do anything or not. It also reminds me that sometimes I have to be the one to begrudgingly turn the volume up a bit if I want change to happen more efficiently. This is that moment. Getting up from the metaphorical couch in which I lost my metaphorical remote and having to turn the volume up on the actual metaphorical TV.


PS: Why are these new remotes so sleek and hideable? They need to have Velcro and be neon yellow. Just saying.


I’ve been here before, we all have. We’ve had to clean out our closets or do the gnarly task we’ve been avoiding. We’ve had to wake up in the middle of the night to deal with needs of children. We’ve had to jolt awake at 5:30am even after staying up until 2:30am for alone time. And isn’t it true that these “had-to” moments in our lives happened because they are in service of something outside of ourselves? 


I’m not suggesting that we exploit this service-oriented tendency to make positive life changes for ourselves. In fact, let’s run far away from that. However, I am suggesting that we pay attention to the reality that we as humans are helpers. And I believe this is true because it has been shown to me over and over that when people focus on something bigger than themselves, things improve for the individual and for the community. It’s like this beautiful built-in feature to humanity that has been shrouded a bit in the sludge—at least for me—these last few months … maybe years. 


And, so, I am bringing myself back to this feature, but I have decided to be committed to doing service work well. That means that I need to do some education first about what help is, how I might need it, how others might need it, and what qualifies as good help. Some of this education might be uncomfortable because it will require I take care of myself first and also confront some biases about my privilege, my assumptions, and my capabilities. BUT. I want to do this well. I want to be a part of something bigger for the sake of having the volume turned up a bit on being part of the solution in humanity. 


Ooof. I just felt “it” a bit. A little tiny heartbeat of forward facing action, the sort that brings meaning and demands positive change … all the things that I think set us stable in this wobbly human existence. I hope to extend this tiny heartbeat your way this month in our November Challenge in which we will be re-introducing you all to our program Share the Show Up. We’ll talk about its history, its current function, and—BEST OF ALL—be led by our own Monique Cortes, LCSW in unlearning and relearning how we can be in-service. She will be talking about so many topics, from microaggressions to checking your privilege to making a doable action plan. I cannot wait to learn from her.


Come join us. It starts sooooooooon, like this Monday because apparently November is like BOO on our calendar. So, get yourself signed up and ready. You can do that as an existing member by logging in to your account on and then clicking on “Challenges” in the teal navigation menu. If you are not yet a member, you can sign up for MommaStrong today and then follow those instructions.


PS: You get 14 days free when you sign up, so half the challenge is on us. 


Ok. Heartbeat, you hear it? Let’s jump in together and reset the helping way ahead. See you on Monday!