September 2025 Blog
Begin Again Buddies

Words have always kept me company as I trudge through the day, little narrators determined to make something beautiful out of the good and the bad of life. Lately, though, I haven’t even felt that ping at all. Like, zilch. And, I know about writer’s block and I know about burnout, but this has been different. 

Yeah, my oldest went to college. Yeah, summertime squashes creative brain space. Yeah, life has been stressful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s more than that - which I admit sounds a bit whiny. But, it is more than all of that. And it wasn’t until I had not one but two random encounters with new moms, holding wiggly newborns close to their chest that it all became clear.

Postpartum. I have been in a confrontation with my postpartum self. In fact, it’s helped me discover that I am not sure I ever healed from my postpartum experience with my girls, which means it’s been 19 years of living in some type of hijacked state of acute caretaking. As I talked to these new moms and watched them wrap their shoulders around their babies, I saw their eyes searching for a little hope, a little connection, a little relief. It all honesty, it became a little too much for me and at some point in both conversations, I had to remind myself that I could leave. That I could walk away. That I did not have a baby. That I was not stuck in my house and my body and my worries and all of it. 

I felt horrible walking away, somehow thinking I was abandoning a position that all moms are required to assume for each other. Because we all know that we’ve stood outside at dusk in our pjs and our dirty hair and our smelly pits, rocking and swaying, not because we wanted to see the sunset, but because we just had to open the lid of the postpartum experience and escape. 

My postpartum experience was rough and I know everyone has a different experience here, based on what sort of support you had or didn’t have in your house and/or our own neurochemical makeup. But, what I do know is that, across the board, we all began to wonder if this intense caretaking was forever. And we all had to kiss autonomy goodbye, not even able to remember the words of every older woman around us, It goes by in a flash, enjoy it.

I could try to figure out why this confrontation has been happening - perhaps it is midlife’s long distance hormonal swim into perimenopause or perhaps it’s because my oldest is off on her own, brimming with life and possibility, reminding me of a time in my life when that same freedom was mine, but I chose tight containers instead. But, the thing I am starting to understand is that I’m not supposed to be figuring this out. I think, instead, this experience is rooted in a deep part of my psyche knowing that I am more able to parent the part of me that needed mothering the most. 

I suppose this is why this September feels awfully crucial for me. I want to “begin again” again, and I want to mother the eff out of myself for once in my life. And, I absolutely know that I could live another ten years wishing and wanting if I don’t just rip the bandaid off and do it already. What does that begin again, again, look like? More structure, more routine. Less watching stupid, sad documentaries that feel deep but are only disheartening. More books. More journals.  More art. More music. More walks. More time, managed well. More “no’s”. More “yeses”. More wisdom to know when it’s a no and when it’s a yes. More rest. More humor. And, of course, more vegetables. 

Honestly, I can imagine most people this time of year have another thing on their list that is not on mine: Regular exercise. It’s not on my list because I have been fitting in 15 minutes of exercise every day, through the worst days, for over a decade now. Yes, it’s still a struggle. Yes, I still procrastinate. But, I do it anyway. And doing it anyways has been the most important tool in my toolkit - for physical strength, for mental health, for self-awareness, and for connection to something bigger than me. 

But, here’s the kicker. I would not have gotten into this habit on my own. I just wouldn’t have, not with the intense caretaking reality so present in my life for so long. I would have pushed it off and waited for the right time to get to that class or that gym, all the while having “you need to exercise” thoughts torture me all day long. 

And, the reason this exercise habit has stuck in my life is not because I’m good at goals or an especially determined person. Rather, it is because of something profoundly beautiful: Being held to it by the members of MommaStrong. Due to the fact that showing up became my job (and perhaps I did that on purpose, subconsciously) and because I care so much about everyone who is here, I have a tether to this practice that is bigger than the simple things. It’s beyond my own health and beyond my own goals. It is simply and empirically true that it matters that I show up and do my Daily 15s, each day.

So, this month of September is dedicated to all of you members and to the season of beginning again that is here for us right now. It’s also dedicated to the awareness that I know it’s hard to show up when it’s not your job. So, I want to spend the month hearing from you all about what connection and accountability means for you, along with what works and what doesn’t. What do you need to know that it matters? What do you need to build this habit? How can I build better resources in MommaStrong so that you can feel tethered to something profoundly beautiful too?

Join me for a brand new Hook this September, which I’ve named Begin Again Buddies. Each week, you’ll get 1) a podcast episode for the week and 2) a daily 5-minute movement session. 

I do hope you will join us. This new Hook starts Sept 8th. All you have to do from here is register and then I will be sending you an email on Sun, Sept 7th with all the goods and how to access the challenge content.

**To register as a current member for The September 2025 Hook: Begin Again Buddies, you’ll simply go to this community post and then click “Join”. 

**IF YOU ARE NOT YET a member, go sign up here (pick a subscription price on your terms) and then follow the instructions above.

See you soon.

**OH, and I am also offering a LIVE (a la Zoom) group support call every Monday of September, from 9-10am CST, however that group is an extra cost of $100 (eeek, worth it if you need extra help from me and members). For more information on that, go here (spots are limited, only a few left)!