May 2025 Blog
Whenever I lie down, my cat, Aster, comes and drapes his body over my belly, right at my solar plexus. He loves to do this on days when life is being life and when maybe no one else in the world knows except him that I can’t breathe. He has radar for emotions with my girls too, quietly walking with heavy paws and relaxed shoulders to their room, a little buoyant jump onto the bed and then dropping his chin on their belly.
I watch him on top of me, his body so fluid and heavy all at once. His eyes close and it seems like they fall with such relaxation that I recall my days of drinking and using other substances, my only way for so long to experience a deep yielding to artificial rest. The way he stretches, the way he lands, the way he snuggles, he’s just programmed for folding in and decompressing. Shit, I want that kind of feline surrender.
I’ve been working quite a bit lately on breath and mobility in my thoracic spine, an attempt to release what feels like a steel cage as ribs. The more research I do, the more I understand that most of my issues, even before kids, come from breathing patterns that have been formed via stress rather than via thriving. This, of course, was only made worse after having kids. I’ve learned that my breath happens in my throat or straight out my belly button. As a result, I have an umbilical hernia and a ribcage that doesn’t know it is supposed to be elastic. As a result, my body doesn’t even know where to put the air it needs.
When I first started in this field, I didn’t register my torso as a canister full of pressure. I just assumed that we breathe in oxygen and that involves your lungs and that’s it. Now, however, I know that this intra-abdominal pressure is the root of everything. And it makes perfect sense, but I’ve always wanted to just strengthen my way out of pain and problems. So, considering this kind of mobility and space and elasticity, I don’t know if I know how to soften into that.
There’s fear under here. Of course there’s fear. I love to believe that I can solve problems while swimming above the dark water. Maybe if I just get better at treading, that will be the ticket. Yet. That’s exhausting isn’t it? But sometimes I want to keep on keeping on because learning to breathe and giving my body the space to breathe means that I’ll eventually drop down down down down. If I'm not vigilant, am I safe?
The connection between our nervous system and our intra-abdominal pressure is breathtaking. I believe it’s what makes us human and what connects us to a very feral, primal part of that humanity. Despite all the mantras and all the self-help tools, our autonomic nervous system will take over when we feel scared or stressed or happy or sad or safe. And all this then affects how well our diaphragm can ascend and descend, thus affecting how our deep abs function, thus affecting the mobility of the spine, thus affecting the stability of our pelvis and shoulder girdle. This is why, in order to heal so many common issues like prolapse, diastasis recti, incontinence, and even joint pain, we have to start with pressure management.
If we learn, beyond all else, how to manage intra-abdominal pressure, we hold a powerful tool in colluding with this primal part of ourselves to our benefit. We can not only learn to trust our bodies and its incredible ability to detect threats unique to our own stories, we can also learn to settle our nervous systems when we understand that the threats won’t destroy us. The bonus to all of that is then we have a body that simply feels better and the cascade of stress finds its way out rather than more entrenched.
If you are struggling with this like I am, please know that it might feel like a kind of impossible calculus to approach intra-abdominal pressure and breathing patterns. But, it’s worth it to get started and learn what Aster knows, which is that deep inside the middle of us we sometimes need a little more space and softening, maybe like a gentle fluffy purr resting with appropriate weight right above the scary stuff.
The great news is that you can join me AND STEPHANIE DILLON for a slow and steady introduction to Pressure Management in our May 2025 Hook. Each week, you’ll get 1) an intro from Stephanie on a topic related to intra-abdominal pressure, 2) a podcast episode with my rambling thoughts on it; and 3) a daily 5-minute movement session.
I do hope you will join us. It starts May 5th, just in time for the insanity that is May. Together, maybe we can be feral but chill. Is that a thing? I don’t know, maybe.
All you have to do from here is register and then I will be sending you an email on Sun, May 4th with all the goods and how to access the challenge content.
**To register as a current member for The May 2025 Hook: Pressure Management, you’ll simply go to this community post and then click “Join”.