I have a workout buddy these days named Sam, a sweet old black cat who - up until recently - I had nicknamed “Gargoyle”. He seemed to spend most days crouched low to the ground, very little feline suppleness to report. His skin had even become crusty in some places, leaving a large concerning lump near his tail, which the vet explained was just a build-up of skin and blech and ick and yuck because Sam seemed disinterested in self-grooming. The vet also explained that Sam was at least 7 pounds overweight, which was preventing him from being able to reach back to the area on his own.
After the vet, I began to monitor Sam’s daily habits more, to see what I could do to help him feel better. Maybe I was feeding him too much or maybe he needed some more play opportunities around the house. Maybe he was just getting old or maybe he needed some expensive supplements of some kind.
However, after just a few days of monitoring him, I quickly identified the issue: Drama with our other cat, Aster. Sam had discovered that if he stayed low to the ground, directly under a small table in the hallway, that Aster could not mess with him - or at least chose not to. However, the SECOND Sam ventured out from this spot, Aster would dart out and charge the poor guy with a ferocity only necessary in the wild outdoors. He’d jump onto Sam’s back and bite into his neck, leaving Sam to hiss and scramble, fur flying everywhere and often - gross times a million - poop. Yeah, Sam would poop as a defensive strategy.
Sometimes Aster would even hunt Sam, giving the poor old guy a seemingly safe moment to roam for food or water or to use the litter box. I’d watch Aster peer around the corner, almost as if he knew exactly when Sam’s guard was down just enough and then, boom, attack mode was on. Fur, poop, the works.
So, after the visit to the vet and a truly bad buzz cut above the tail, it was suggested that I give Sam a bit of a break while the now exposed skin area healed. This is when Sam became my official workout buddy, finding refuge in my office thanks to a door that closed and enough space for a bed and some toys and his very own litter box. At first, Sam remained in Gargoyle mode, crouched low, easily startled. His joints seemed still brittle, his skin crusty, and his belly barely making it off of the ground. He’d sit near me as I worked out, though, watching me with the stereotypical cat curiosity. And then, as the days went by and his bullying buddy stayed clear, Sam began to transform: Joints loosened. Affection increased. Purring on high volume. Not as easily frightened. Drank more water, ate more slowly.
I know this sounds like a “duh”, but in all honesty, it was a pretty eye opening experience to watch an animal’s wellbeing shift so dramatically so quickly simply because he felt safe. And while I know this is true for us as humans, I have to admit that I prefer to blame myself for not being a better person or not handling stress as well or not working hard enough on self-care or or or or. But the simple truth is: If we don’t feel safe, our other attempts for healing are thwarted.
It’s no wonder, then, that we all feel as we do in our bodies after we’ve had kids. This society does very little to provide us a safe environment afterwards. Most of us are in survival mode like Sam. Maybe we don’t have a bully at home (or maybe we do), but perhaps we don’t feel secure in myriad ways. Perhaps we are waiting for the bad thing around the corner. Perhaps we are exhausted beyond exhausted. Perhaps we are trying to make a living while caring for kids all around us. Perhaps we are alone with kids all day. Perhaps there was a - ahem - pandemic or something. Perhaps there’s political and social upheaval. Perhaps our rights are being stripped away. Perhaps we’re being marketed to constantly on social media, with messages that exploit our vulnerabilities in order to turn a profit. Perhaps perhaps perhaps perhaps.
It’s no wonder, then, that we are physically out of whack. It’s no wonder we feel so crunchy. It’s no wonder we can’t breathe. It’s no wonder we don’t even trust our own hunger cues. It’s no wonder we forget to drink water. It’s not wonder we don’t prioritize sleep or rest or pleasure. Would you tell Sam, mid Aster pounce, to handle his reaction better? Would we tell him to take a nap? Or buy a better skin cream? Or eat this and take that? Or make more time for himself?
No. We get Sam safe first.
When I look at the physical issues that most of us mothers experience, from incontinence to prolapse to frozen shoulder to everything else, I can dial it all back to survival mode and our body’s attempts to protect itself while also performing necessary tasks. This strategy is so successful that we often don’t know, such is the beauty (and the beast) of the human nervous system. Yet over time, while it first served us and kept us safe, it yields evidence of the true burden.
My interest in this falls mostly on the way in which our ribs and our thoracic spine lose mobility when in survival mode, due to their relationship with the parasympathetic nervous system, breathing patterns, and protective/hiding postures (fetal positions). This “stuckness” is the connecting dot to how our diaphragm functions and if our body can utilize that function to regulate intra-abdominal pressure, condition the pelvic floor, respond to stress, and stabilize the spine/pelvis through appropriate deep abdominal activation.
Healing so many so-called “women’s issues” can be greatly improved by creating more mobility in the ribs and thoracic spine. Working in these areas of the body will also help reduce the burden of survival mode that falls much more heavily on us.
I wish I could make the world safe for us right now. I know you do too. But, I’ll do what I can and right now, as small as it might seem, I’m starting with a month(ish) of 5-minute sessions dedicated to “Un-Gripping” our ribs and thoracic spine. I’m not quite sure where it will lead and what we will experience, but I do know it’s one thing I can do for my body right now.
Join me from Mon, Nov 11th through the end of the month for our November 2024 Un-Gripping Hook: Rib & Thoracic Mobility. I’ll be sharing a new 5-minute mobility session each day and you will also get a weekly podcast focused on one area of what I am learning. And, best of all, there is a community of fellow members that will be active along with you, each day.
All you have to do from here is register and then I will be sending you an email on Sun, Nov 10th with all the goods and how to access the challenge content.
To register for The Nov 2024 UN-GRIPPING Hook: Rib & Thoracic Mobility, you’ll simply need to go to this post in the community and then click “Join”.
**IF YOU ARE NOT YET a member, go sign up here and then follow the instructions above (and don’t forget to use the coupon STARTFORFIVE to get a discounted membership price to start!).