Peri-Menopause + Menopause
It’s sort of a cruel joke that just as I begin to experience a little bit of space from the intense lack of bodily autonomy that is mothering young children, I am now facing peri-menopause. Age 43 and all. I’m in complete denial and am still of the thinking that “this” won’t happen to me. But, of course it will because it’s a normal and an obviously unavoidable part of being a person in a body with ovaries.
Yet, I still think it won’t happen to me. And every time I have a symptom that could easily be explained by peri-menopause, I like to blame it on long COVID, stress, or drinking too much caffeine. And it’s not that I am afraid of aging - wait, that is bull shit - I am entirely afraid of aging hahaha. Ok, it’s that I am not ready to go through this. I need a few more years with the earned wisdom from the past 43 years so that I can experience some freedom in a body that is predictable.
Much of this fear has to do with assumptions about the menopause transition that I’ve heard from friends or read about or seen portrayed in movies and shows. It seems to me to be a second puberty, but a puberty on steroids. And I also have associated it with loss. Loss of beauty, loss of muscle, loss of sexuality, loss of value, loss of brain power, loss of health, etc etc etc etc.
If I go a layer deeper, there’s some stuff in there that connects to an experience I have had in my body since becoming a mom: Being trapped. And, as tends to be the case, this is always hard to talk about because we think (or are conditioned) that if we talk badly about motherhood, it means we don’t love our kids or that we don’t find joy in the mess or that we don’t find it “all” worth it. Bologna. Right? We can be more than one thing in this area, so I will stay on course with what my experience has been in a body that has birthed.
In general, this trapped feeling comes up around how my body feels, the pain I experience, the acknowledgement that my middle was separated and still is, and the fluctuations in terms of my overall health as a result of caretaker stress. Alongside that is just basic autonomy. Being able to do what I want, when I want with a body that cooperates. And so when I sit quietly and ask myself how my body is feeling, I can always feel my throat and my solar plexus tighten. Sometimes I want out, you know? And not out from my life or from my kids, but out from the container that it all is.
I’ll usually then pin the tightening on money or time or being a single mom. It’s hard to sit with what the body knows and what it is asking for me to hear. But, as I have been practicing this, I have been learning that listening is 99% of the deal. That the very thing that I think might upend or destroy my life, actually won’t. Shit, I have that idea tattooed on me: Let the tiger eat you.
And that’s it. Menopause feels like a tiger that is going to eat me. It feels like something that is going to come and rip away freedom and comfort in my body at the exact time in my life that my brain and spirit are so willing to claim freedom and comfort. AND SHIT. I have had enough taken away from me in these areas. Haven’t you?
I’m going to be very careful from here because I have seen a TON of publicity around menopause lately, as I am sure you have too. It’s become quite the hot topic and, I fear, yet another way we take real issues in women’s health and exploit them. We’re not going to do that here. Instead, we are going to do what we have done for the last 12 years and dive into the deep end of these REAL medical issues and hold to facts, hold to feasibility, and take action where it matters most. And, we’re going to keep it light. This is all hard, but it’s also only hard.
I’d love for you to join me this February 2024 as we dig into the topic of Peri-menopause and Menopause and how it relates to exercise and overall health/wellbeing. What can we do? What is the best way to exercise? What sort of help from physicians do I need to pursue? What sort of self-care might I need to employ? What sort of conversations need to be started? Can I feel neutral (note: not positive) in a very unpredictable body that does not always cooperate?
I’m finishing up a certification course on these items right now and I’m inviting you along for the ride. During this month, you will get a weekly podcast focused on one area of what I am learning, alongside some worksheets to help bring the content to life. You will also get a daily mini 5-minute STRENGTH TRAINING workout. And, best of all, there is a community that is the most alive and supportive and honest thing I have experienced on the weird interwebs.
AND - head ups - at the end of this month (Starting March 1st), MommaStrong will have an entire new stream of Daily 15s specifically for Peri-menopause and Menopause. I know. Big deal. Big, important deal.
The great news is that you don’t have to think about a thing. You register and then I will be sending you an email this Sunday with all the goods and how to access the challenge content.
To register for The January 2024 Hook: Motivation 2.0, here we go:
If you are a not yet a member, you’ll need to join using our intro offer of $5 and then go register at the link for current members listed below.
As a current member, you’ll simply go to this post in the community and then click “Join” I’ll be following up on Sunday, Feb 4th with more details.
Here’s to hormonal upheaval (again) ;)